Crabs in a bucket! (8.14.2020)

Patricia Bokowski, here’s some advice for those who come to you with long faces.
“If you’ve finally decided, once and for all, to be happy, yet you aren’t… then you haven’t yet decided to be happy, once and for all.”
Same goes for all the other stuff they’ve decided.
They’re that powerful.  The Universe
/ Crabs in a bucket!

Whatever you do, Do Not Have A “Crabs in a bucket” mentality.👈👈👈

And don’t hang around with people who do either!

This “crabs in a bucket” theory was told to me about 7 years ago.

This ‘crabs in a bucket’ theory was told to me by this guy at met at The Dix Hills Diner for a cup of coffee.

I truly hope the guy who told me this, the guy I met at the diner, sees this!

Even all these years later.

crab on beach
Photo by Alexsandro Rosa de Mello on

Crab Mentality – Wikipedia

Crab mentality, sometimes referred to as crabs in the bucket is a way of thinking best described by the phrase, “if I can’t have it, neither can you.”

Have you ever heard the term, Crabs in a Bucket?

It is a term used when describing how crabs will pull one another back into the bucket so they can’t get out!

As it turns out, people are very much the same way.

Think about it?

What happens when you put one crab in a bucket?    

Now, put two crabs in a bucket and watch what happens?  

One crab starts to climb up the pail, the other crab will pull on the other crab’s leg until he falls off the wall and back into the bucket.

Note: life sometimes works like that too!

Now, think about that reference when it comes to your success.  

There may be those around you that don’t want you to succeed.  

They like “where” you are, exactly where you are!

See, the minute you start “climbing out of the bucket” so to speak, they have a problem.

When you start improving yourself and going after your dreams.

Watch out!  

Because that is when you might start getting dragged back “into” the bucket.

Sometimes it comes in the form of negative talk.

Often, passive aggressive behavior.

They will tell you they are only looking out for you.

A lot of it comes from them being scared they are going to lose you.

All very real feelings.

Only, you can’t let that stop you from pursuing your dreams and getting out of the bucket, so to speak!

You cannot, and I can’t stress this enough, let other people stop you from pursuing your dream!

No matter what!👈👈👈

We all know people, especially the ones closest to us, can feel very threatened when someone close to them starts to change.  

Change is hard.  It can make people feel uncomfortable.

It can make them feel insecure, sad, lonely, unsuccessful or perhaps even, unworthy.  

In any case, the result is the same, “them” attempting to pull you back into the pail.

My advice, surround yourself with people who will LIFT YOU UP and PUSH YOU OVER THE SIDE OF THE PAIL!!!

“You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with!” Jim Rohn


Surround yourself with people who believe in YOU!

People who encourage you, who help guide you, who have your back and want nothing but the best for you!

beach ocean yellow crab
Photo by Pixabay on

How do you find these people you might ask?


Just keep pursuing your dream and THEY will find you.  

They always do!

I’m now on TikTok – The Frog’s Den 👈👈👈 #followme

That’s a wrap!

Talk soon,

Patricia <3 always

NineFrogs ~ People will stare. Make it worth their while!


Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.