“How do I get to the top?” (8.12.15)

Patricia Bokowski, next time you feel really hurt, really angry, or really, really upset, and you’re sure that even I have been violated, shaken, and humbled, quick, check and see if the sky is any less blue, the sun any less radiant, the birds have stopped singing, or the flowers have lost their scent. 
I’ll wager you’ll find that life has gone on much as before. Too consumed by the powers of now and the inevitabilities of love, understanding, and eternal life to have even missed a beat. 
  The Universe / How do I get to the top?
Patricia Bokowski, thatโ€™s if there even is a next time.
“Stop asking people who have never been where you are going for directions.” – Kermit the Frog


“You got me runnin’ goin’ out of my mind.

You got me thinkin’ that I’m wastin’ my time.

(Don’t drag me down, no no no no no)

I’ll tell you once more before I get off the floor,

(Don’t drag me down).”

Electric Light Orchestra


A couple of years ago I met a guy for coffee, and he was the one who told me about this theory.  

I had never heard of it before, and found it so interesting.

So today I’m sharing it with you.

Have you ever heard the term?

Crabs in a Bucket?

It’s a term used when describing how people around you will keep pulling you back so you won’t succeed.  

Turns out people are very much like crabs ๐Ÿ‘ˆ๐Ÿ‘ˆ๐Ÿ‘ˆ

Think about it, what happens when you put one crab in a bucket?  

It tries to escape.  

Now, put two crabs in a bucket and watch what happens?  

As soon as one crab starts to climb up the pail,.

The other crab will pull on the other crab’s leg until he falls off the wall and back into the bucket.

Now, think about that reference when it comes to people.  

There may be those around you that don’t want you to succeed.  

They like “where” you are, especially when you are just like them.  

Only the minute you start climbing out of the “bucket” so to speak.  ๐Ÿ‘ˆ๐Ÿ‘ˆ๐Ÿ‘ˆ

The time when you start improving yourself and going after your dreams.  

Watch out!  

Because that is when you might start getting dragged back “into” the bucket.

Sometimes it comes in the form of negative talk,.

Or, it comes in “their version’ of  helpful talk.

Often, they will tell you they are only looking out for you.

And sometimes, in extremem cases, it is action people will take against you.

It comes from them being scared they are going to lose you.

And a big one here I believe๐Ÿ‘‰๐Ÿ‘‰๐Ÿ‘‰

It comes from them being scared you are going to do better than them!

People can feel very threatened when someone close to them starts to change.  

Change is hard.  

It makes certain people uncomfortable.  

Lot’s of feelings come up in people.

Such as:

What’s happening here?

Look who’s changing?

Where are they going?

What’s going to happen to me?

What’s going to happen to them?

They’re changing so much?

I don’t like it.

Just stay how you were.

You’re not the same person anymore.

You seem different.

Why can’t you just me like us?

I pray that if this is you.

You don’t listen to any of that.

That’s their problem.

Not yours.

Don’t let them suck you back in.

To that level of comfort.

In order to get out of where you are.

You need to do things you’ve never done.

To get different results.

To hopefully get better results.

Only, you’ll never know unless you try.



You changing.

Often times, brings up a lot of mixed feelings to those around you.

It could be the people you work with.

Your family.

Your partner.

It can make them feel insecure..




Or perhaps even, unworthy.  โ€œBaby steps!โ€ (10.20.2020)

In any case, the result is the same.

“Them” attempting to bring you down.

My advice.

Surround yourself with people who will LIFT YOU UP.


Surround yourself with people who believe in YOU!  ๐Ÿ‘ˆ๐Ÿ‘ˆ๐Ÿ‘ˆ

People who will mencourage you.

People who will support your vision.

Those who have your back and want nothing but the best for you!

How do you find these people you might ask?


They somehow always manage to find you.

Kind of like love <3

And if you don’t have those people in your life right now.

Don’t be afraid to go it alone.

Don’t be afraid to like it ๐Ÿ‘‰๐Ÿ‘‰๐Ÿ‘‰

How do I get to the top!

One day at a time!

Lastly, make sure you follow NineFrogs on TikTok & YouTube – The Frog’s Den ๐Ÿธ๐Ÿธ๐Ÿธ

That’s a wrap!

Talk soon,

Patricia <3 always

NineFrogs ~ People will stare. Make it worth their while!

Work like there is someone working twenty-four hours a day to take it all away from you. –

Mark Cuban



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