“How can I deal with life?” (8.14.2020)

Patricia Bokowski, here’s some advice for those who come to you with long faces.
“If you’ve finally decided, once and for all, to be happy, yet you aren’t… then you haven’t yet decided to be happy, once and for all.”
Same goes for all the other stuff they’ve decided.
They’re that powerful.  The Universe
/ How can I deal with life? / www.tut.com

“Stop asking people who have never been where you are going for directions.” – Kermit the Frog

How can I deal with life?

For one.

Do Not Have A “Crabs in a bucket” mentality.👈👈👈

You know.

When those around you are trying to better themselves.

And you can’t stand it!

I certainly hope not!

And don’t hang around with people who do either!👈👈👈

This “crabs in a bucket” theory was told to me about 7 years ago.

It was told told to me by this guy I met at The Dix Hills Diner for a cup of coffee.

I truly hope the guy who told me this.

The guy I met at the diner, sees this!

Even all these years later.

Photo by Alexsandro Rosa de Mello on Pexels.com

So, what is Crab Mentality?

Sometimes referred to as crabs in the bucket.

Is a way of thinking best described by the phrase,

“if I can’t have it, neither can you.”👈👈👈

How can I deal with life?

Have you ever heard the term?

I know I hadn’t at the time!

It is a term used when describing how crabs will pull one another back into the bucket so they can’t get out!

As it turns out, people are very much the same way.

Think about it?

What happens when you put one crab in a bucket?  

It tries to get out.  

Now, put two crabs in a bucket and watch what happens?  

One crab starts to climb up the pail.

The other crab will pull on the other crab’s leg until he falls off the wall and back into the bucket.

Note: life sometimes works like that too!

How can I deal with life?

Now, think about that reference when it comes to your success.  

There may be those around you that don’t want you to succeed.  

They like “where” you are, exactly where you are!

See, the minute you start “climbing out of the bucket” so to speak.

They have a problem.

When you start improving yourself and going after your dreams.

Watch out!  

Because that is when you might start getting dragged back “into” the bucket.

Sometimes it comes in the form of negative talk.

Often, passive aggressive behavior.

They will tell you they are only looking out for you.

A lot of it comes from them being scared they are going to lose you.

All very real feelings.


You can’t let that stop you from pursuing your dreams.

And getting out of the bucket, so to speak!

You cannot.

And I can’t stress this enough.

Let other people stop you from pursuing your dream!

No matter what!👈👈👈

We all know people.

Especially the ones closest to us.

Can feel very threatened when someone close to them starts to change.  

Change is hard.  

It can make people feel uncomfortable.

It can make them feel insecure, sad, lonely, unsuccessful or perhaps even, unworthy.  

In any case.

The result is the same, “them” attempting to pull you back into the pail.

My advice.

Surround yourself with people who will LIFT YOU UP.


“You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with!” Jim Rohn


Surround yourself with people who believe in YOU!

People who encourage you.

Who help guide you.

Who have your back.

And want nothing but the best for you!

As for all the others.

You know?

The ones who don’t feel like that?

Time to kick them to the curb.


You can do it nicely.

Or take baby steps doing it.


Just don’t see them as often.

You get the idea.

My circle so small these days.

It’s pretty much; me, myself & I.


I have a few friends.


I don’t see them all the time.

And you know what?

After I let loose some people from my life.

All the BS went with them.

My life is so much more peaceful now.

And I am calm AF as well.

Something to think about!

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

How do you find these people you might ask?


Just keep pursuing your dream and THEY will find you.  👈👈👈

They always do!

And remember.

It all starts with you!

Yes, you!

You have everything you need.

It’s all inside you.

It always has been.

It’s just, no one told you👈👈👈

Now you know!

Go forth and BE GREAT! NineFrogs “Quote of the Day”!

Lastly, make sure you follow NineFrogs on TikTok & YouTube – The Frog’s Den – New videos coming soon!

That’s a wrap!

Talk soon,

Patricia <3 always

NineFrogs ~ People will stare. Make it worth their while!

“How can I deal with life?”



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